Feeling Unsafe: The Hidden Root of Many Struggles

By Jacqueline I. Topakian

Behind anxiety, depression, addictions, and even physical health issues, there is often one core experience, the feeling of not being safe. This sense of feeling unsafe is rarely about the present moment. More often, it is a legacy from early life, when our nervous system was still wiring itself for survival.

Where it All Begins

During childhood, our body and psyche absorb the environment like a sponge. When that environment is unpredictable or frightening, the nervous system learns to stay on guard. This can happen when a child grows up with:

. Parents who are inconsistent, critical, or emotionally unavailable.

. Exposure to verbal or physical violence.

. Experiences of bullying, punishment, or abuse.

. Poverty, instability, or lack of basic needs being met.

. Environments marked by war, fear, or hunger.

As trauma expert Dr Bessel van der Kolk reminds us, "the body keeps the score". Even years later, the body remembers, and a small trigger in adulthood, a tone of voice, a rejection, a stressful situation, can reawaken the original fear.

How It Shapes Adulthood

The unconscious imprint of "I am not safe" follows us into adult life. It shows up in:

. Constant anxiety or hyper-vigilance.

. Repeated relationship struggles, often seeking safety in partners who eventually feel unsafe.

. Addictions of many forms: alcohol, food, sugar, work, pornography.

. Physical conditions such as gut issues, tension, or autoimmune problems.

. Emotional challenges like depression, numbness, or panic.

Carl Jung described these repeating cycles as complexes, patterns that pull us back into unresolved wounds. Until we learn to heal, life has a way of presenting us with the same lessons again and again.

Why No One Else Can Make You Feel Safe

It is human to long for safety in others, yet, no partner, no friend, and no circumstance can resolve the inner wound of feeling unsafe. Safety is not something we find outside, it is something we must build inside. This is why the process of reparenting ourselves is so important. The frightened inner child within us needs an adult presence that is calm, loving, and steady. No one else can consistently provide that for us, it has to come from within.

Steps Toward Healing

The good news is that the nervous system is not fixed, it can change. With the right tools, we can shift from a life of survival to one of safety and connection. Some of the most powerful methods I use with clients include:

. Regression therapy and inner child work - Revisiting and resolving the original imprint of fear in a safe, guided space.

. Meditation and conscious breathing - Training the body to move out of fight-or-flight and into calm presence.

. Reparenting practices - Learning to comfort, reassure, and support the inner child, building a new sense of security.

Even after the first session, many people notice shifts; calmer reactions, improved sleep, or the ability to face stress without collapsing into fear.

From Survival to Safety

Healing from trauma does not mean erasing the past, it means reclaiming your power in the present. When you learn to feel safe inside your own body, you break free from old patterns and create space for healthier relationships, greater resilience, and a deeper sense of peace.

Safety begins within, and from there, everything else can transform.

If you recognize yourself in these words and feel ready to begin this journey, know that support is available. Through Inner Child Work, Regression Therapy, and conscious practices, I help clients reconnect with their inner safety and step into a more grounded, empowered way of living. Healing begins with a single step!

Regression Therapy

Inner Child Work

Transformational Coaching

GENEVA HOLISTIC www.jacquelinetopakian.com